It may not come as shock for you to learn that before moving to Dubai (and somewhere in between doing my degree and working for the police) I used to work in a shoe shop. Ahhhh her dream job I hear you say…but I’ll let you into a little secret selling shoes isn’t half as much fun as buying them.
The first week of my foray into retail began quite well (learning the ropes as it was) a bit of dusting, chatting to a few old dears, getting to swipe my till card every now and again. Simple I thought, I could do this, looks much harder than it actually is. Arriving for my shift on the Monday of the second week I breezed in all ‘look at me I work in a shoe department’ wearing what could only be described as ‘very unsuitable ladder shoes’ (I’ll explain later) and a pencil dress. My boss looked me up and down and very slowly led me around to the back room. The back room, wrongly named as it was more like a warehouse, looked like my shoe closet only quadrupled. I stopped in my tracks mesmerised by ALL THOSE SHOES, thinking I have found my calling. My boss who was less impressed began to tell me about the process of a shoe shops stock room. Believe me when I say that the logic of this stock room wasn’t at all like the logic in my head, or the logic of my own shoe closet. Plus it was literally a maze with rows and rows of shelves that reached the ceiling and ladders to reach the top.
Nicolas Kirkwood fuchsia platform pumps from his FW12/13 collection – now available at LUISAVIAROMA.COM
Now remember when I told you that despite the fact I love high heels I have slight problem with my stability? Well the first issue with the immense stock room was the ladders. Balancing on the top rung of a ladder while trying to reach a pair of size 37 platforms in fuchsia, whilst wearing six inch heels and pencil dress, not a good idea for me. Secondly the colour order just would not stick in my head, gold AFTER white? Not in my world. What’s more I have slight problem with number sequences, and this means that boxes of shoes in a numbered order can prove to be a little difficult. There is only one shoe size I relate to and that’s my own, reverse numbered shoe stacking not going to happen!
So what you may have imagined to be my perfect job was actually pretty much my worst nightmare. Especially as during one rather torturous shift, whilst searching desperately for an old lady shoe in a size 40, I caused an avalanche by pulling a box out from the bottom of a pile (fools error) and nearly gave myself concussion.
In total I worked at the store for around three months, which gave me just enough time to mess up the system completely and I imagine my colleagues were pretty glad to see the back of me. I just hope they never find the pair of shoes I hid behind some shelving because I couldn’t find the right box…